


You Want it? Take it.

by FakePlastikTrees



Category: Damages
Genre: F/F, Post episode s05e06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:32:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakePlastikTrees/pseuds/FakePlastikTrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a prompt  given to me on Tumblr. What happens after the "You're not afraid of me, are you?" scene in season 5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Want it? Take it.

_“You’re not afraid of me are you?”_

 

The words echoed in Ellen’s mind, following her like an unknown shadow in a darkened alley, bothersome and weary-like. The sensation gnawed at the recesses of her mind like a rodent on scraps of food. A clammy chill accompanied her uneasiness as she pressed the button that would beckon the elevator to her.

 

She turned around.

 

She walked back in the direction she had left behind her, and like a trail of light, she breezed through it, replacing her departing steps with returning spiteful strides, back inside Patty’s office, where the blonde still sat with a glass of amber liquid in her hand. She didn’t seem the least bit surprised that Ellen had returned. Her brow lifted just a fraction in greeting and she smiled the way she had earlier, with that glazed, relaxed look in her eyes that did make Ellen feel afraid, if she was honest with herself.

 

Patty would always scare Ellen just a little bit, no matter how hard she tried to race up to Patty’s level, Ellen would always be a mile behind her, and that was a fact the younger woman knew very well, and loathed.

 

“Change your mind?” Patty asked and made an attempt to get up, except she couldn’t. She sat back in her seat, gave a half earnest chuckle and turned her chin towards the shelf where her bigger vice sat, waiting to be poured. “Have a drink.”

 

“No, I’m good.”

 

The blonde snorted into her glass and clumsily sipped some, just barely wetting her lips with the bourbon. She was beyond drunk. Ellen hadn’t seen her this drunk since the night in Patty’s apartment where she’d been humiliated, insulted and then kicked out like a cheating spouse. Ellen could feel the memory as vividly as when it happened and she swallowed hard, recalling the tears in Patty’s eyes along with the pain in her voice and the bitter, stinging sensation of rejection that plagued Ellen and kept her up at night right up until the evening she could explain herself.

 

She cared about Patty. One way or another, the two women would always be connected to each other, whether in rivalry, friendship or otherwise, Ellen couldn’t ignore that. But looking at Patty now, inebriated, cocky and slurring her speech, Ellen was reminded that whatever unbreakable bond the two shared, it was purely out of Patty’s manipulation and stubborn possessiveness of the younger woman.

 

She grew angry, livid as she inhaled and suddenly breathed in the alcohol, which clouded the room with it’s rich smell. She imagined Patty reeked of it.

 

Without thinking, Ellen reached across Patty’s desk and snatched the half empty glass from the blonde’s hand. “You’ve had enough.”

 

She placed the glass on the shelf and watched as Patty slowly turned her chair all the way around to face her. Her feet were bare and pale against the blood red tint of her toe-nails, and the muscles of her calves flexed and relaxed as she crossed her legs.

 

“You came back here to—what? Be my designated driver?”

 

“I don’t work for you, Patty.”

 

“No, you don’t, that’s true. You made sure of that, didn’t you. Since you first came to work for me—back when you did work for me—you were always too good for this place, too pure, too—honest. Right? Wasn’t that why you left?”

 

“I left because you USED me. I left because you are a possessive, selfish egomaniac and no one owns me. That’s why I left.”

 

“Mmm—“ Patty nodded and clasped her hands together, “—that’s why I always liked you, Ellen. You weren’t like the other little minions that tell me what I want to hear, you just say what you feel when you feel it. You’re smart and you’re—your own person, I admire that.”

 

“What do you ‘want’ from me?” Ellen asked, “Why don’t you just leave me alone?”

 

Patty’s bemused smile faltered then and she grew serious. “Is that what you really want?”

 

Ellen’s heart thundered in her chest as the answer bubbled up in her mind, and preparing for it, cowered and lied instead, “Yes.”

 

“Okay,” Patty replied after a beat, shrugging her shoulders once, “When the case is over, you’ll never see me again.” Bracing herself on the desk top, she pulled herself to her feet slipped her heels on and glanced up at Ellen with a resigned smirk, “Maybe I was wrong. I guess it’s not fun for you anymore.”

 

Fun? It wasn’t fun? It was what Ellen lived for, now she realized it. She wouldn’t be free of it, this insane game she was playing with Patty, not until one or both died in the process. It was frightening and electrifying all at once, it seemed to rock her consciousness and her weakened resolve to tell Patty—tell her what? What was her reason for turning around and walking back in here? She didn’t know, didn’t want to know, all she knew was that her actions were not her own, not when she gripped Patty’s arm and forcefully pulled her to her, and definitely not when she kissed the older woman like her life depended on those moments of pure animosity, intent, admiration and everything else between Ellen’s history with Patty that could ever only be accurately described as passionate. It ‘was’ Passionate, and toxic.

 

Kissing Patty was dangerous, like drinking from a questionable pond after days of walking the dessert without water, it was like drowning and when she couldn’t breathe, Ellen tore her mouth away and held her mouth to her lips, staring, wide eyed and shocked, at Patty’s own kiss swollen mouth, which smiled back at her as the blonde’s chest heaved with every ragged breath.

 

Patty’s blue gaze mirrored Ellen’s own surprise at the sudden action, all at once recognizing that it wasn’t all that surprising after all.

 

Ellen felt a chill, a sickening sensation like the legs of a chair giving out from under her.

 

“Don’t say anything,” Ellen ordered sternly before Patty could say something mocking or cruel, some truth Ellen wasn’t interested in hearing. She moved around the blonde and took a seat in her chair, giving Patty what she knew she wanted Ellen to want, Patty’s seat at the head of Hewes & Associates, by extension allowing Patty a form of immortality through Ellen’s compliant take-over.

 

The worst part of it was, Ellen wanted it, She wanted all of it in the moment, with Patty’s bourbon smeared over her own lips, and the looming darkness of the older woman’s office engulfing her, Ellen could have said yes. To anything Patty asked, so she needed her to stay quiet.

 

She closed her eyes as Patty carefully moved between Ellen and the desk where the blonde leaned back against the ledge, and crossed her arms and legs, breathing slowly in and out for Ellen to grant her some sort of permission.

 

But permission wasn’t something Patty necessarily waited for.

 

“Ellen, wanting success and power more than anything else is not the most terrible thing in the world.”

 

Ellen winced but refused to open her eyes as she replied weakly, “Please, stop.”

 

“Everyone wants success, everyone wants to win, but not everyone has it in them to do so. You do. ‘We’ do. You’re special. You know that, I know that.”

 

Patty’s words filled Ellen with a heat that started in her belly and worked its way all over, it felt like validation and she hated herself for it. Looking up at Patty, she saw that manipulative, crystal clear blue stare that was always so convincing, so convincing that Ellen fell for it in a moment of absolute weakness.

 

“I know what you want, Ellen. I know because I see it in your eyes, and I want you to have it. You can be as good as I am. You want it? TAKE IT.”

 

 

Ellen lunged forward as the tension between them seemed to reach its absolute moment of eruption and she heard Patty exclaim something against her mouth.

 

Ellen kissed unapologetically, almost punishing the older woman as she pushed herself between the blonde’s legs. She pulled, aimlessly, at fabric, succeeding very little until she reached for Patty’s skirt and something ripped.

 

Ellen stilled abruptly with one hand up Patty’s skirt and the other holding a fistful of the ruined material. Patty breathed heavily against Ellen’s cheek, waiting, rather impatiently, before pressing a kiss to Ellen’s ear, then another until the younger woman was leaning into her and sighing, letting go of the bunched up skirt in favor of Patty’s waist and ribcage, enjoying the way Patty seemed to squirm away and lean in closer at the same time as she groped freely and greedily.

 

Plenty of things surprised Ellen that night.

 

The first and most important, was how warm Patty’s skin was, everywhere Ellen seemed to touch, second, how much she loved Patty’s hands, everywhere she touched her, third, how easy it was to make Patty whimper and moan and fourth, how quickly Ellen herself dissolved into sob like moans at the mercy of Patty’s indecently able fingers.

 

However, what truly shocked her was how easily they brushed the incident off, and how badly Ellen wanted to turn around and do it again, even as she made her way out of the building, taking the stairs, not trusting herself to possess the will to wait for the elevator.

 

The truth was, she was deathly afraid, of course she was, of this Stockholm Syndrome like attachment she felt towards Patty, of the fact that if she didn’t move on and away from this world while she’d made up her mind, pretty soon she wouldn’t be able to walk away at all.

 

She took the stair faster as the went, nearly hyperventilating until she pushed through the front doors and out onto the cold winter night, which didn’t do much to get rid of everything that happened, but Ellen breathed by the gulp, filling her lungs with as much air as she could handle, wondering what the hell she’d just done and if she would be able to forget it.

 

Making her way up the street, she felt around her pocket for her phone, checked the screen and saw a missed call from Chris. She didn’t feel guilty, but she felt resolved to prove Patty wrong, especially now, and as she climbed into a cab and gave Chris’s address, she knew she would, no matter the consequences, she would get away from Patty, even if it went against both their nature.

 

 


End file.
